1
00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:17,110
You Camilla nothing like a quiet
Saturday in Balmoral clean Scottish air

2
00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:23,990
dirty Scottish people Yes, I do so love
our weekends away no

3
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:30,670
responsibilities just like every other
day What in the devil is that

4
00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:32,530
racket daddy

5
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,340
What are you two doing here? This castle
is for royals only.

6
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:52,760
Oh, Charles, don't be such a grump.

7
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,120
Hello, sweet Harry.

8
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,940
And beautiful Meghan, as brown as ever.

9
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,620
Gee, thanks. Hey, Step Queen, I brought
you a gift.

10
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:04,040
Oh, Meghan, you shouldn't have.

11
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:05,319
It's ice.

12
00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:07,040
I made it myself.

13
00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:11,780
I can give you the recipe. I'm kind of
whizzing the kitchen.

14
00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:13,460
It's true.

15
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:14,780
She hires the best cooks.

16
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,760
I love you.

17
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,140
I love you more. No, I love you more.
No, I love you more, baby. I love you

18
00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:24,360
more. Stop that! Stop that!

19
00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:28,060
What do you two want?

20
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,920
We're moving back to the UK and we need
your help.

21
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,500
Don't tell me you've spent all your
Netflix money already.

22
00:01:35,340 --> 00:01:36,720
Daddy, it was $60 million.

23
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,420
How long was it meant to last?

24
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,120
I'm not asking for much, just a Dutchie
or two.

25
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:47,720
There's a waste you've become you're
lucky your father isn't around to see

26
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:47,940
this

27
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:54,940
Nevermind

28
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:59,460
nevermind Daddy just because I don't
want to be a royal doesn't mean I want

29
00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:03,400
to be a regular guy Somebody say regular
guy

30
00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:15,030
What are you doing here?

31
00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:18,770
I'm the new PM, and I'm nothing like the
last one.

32
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:26,650
Harry, Meghan, I'm here to tell you that
just because you're normal folk doesn't

33
00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:28,410
mean your life has to be crap.

34
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:31,310
That is the Burnham promise.

35
00:02:31,550 --> 00:02:33,710
My God, he's magnificent.

36
00:02:33,990 --> 00:02:34,990
Look at those lashes.

37
00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:39,310
Hey, love, my eyes are down here. Hey,
come on, we're all here.

38
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:43,470
Now... Hey, now listen up, cockers.

39
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:46,390
Because the people have spoken.

40
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:52,270
All 300 people who decided I was to be
Prime Minister.

41
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:54,950
And the message is clear.

42
00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,530
There is more to Britain than London.

43
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,890
There is Manchester.

44
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,290
There is Liverpool.

45
00:03:00,710 --> 00:03:03,150
There's that town that I'm the MP of
now.

46
00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:06,910
It's all a bit of a rush. I didn't catch
the name.

47
00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:10,610
Make a field? Maybe I will make a field.

48
00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:16,510
I'm going to make... all sorts of things
once I remember the name of that bloody

49
00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:23,270
place. And speaking of building, mark my
words, Number 10 North is just the

50
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:28,790
start. I will not stop until there is a
Number 10 on every street in this

51
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:29,790
country.

52
00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:35,870
Even streets that only have nine houses
on them. We will build one more.

53
00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:39,110
You see, you shaggisty, like...

54
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,980
Like Gary Barlow before me, I'm just a
regular man from the north.

55
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,520
With a dream, a relatable manner, and a
massive son.

56
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,640
Shout out the Giacomo big and tall
range.

57
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,580
Because of you, my boy looks banging.

58
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,760
What do you say, Megan?

59
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,060
Shall we be regular folk, just like
Andy? What the heck? I like him more

60
00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:09,060
than the last guy.

61
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,160
That's my whole thing.

62
00:04:12,490 --> 00:04:13,490
So hear this.

63
00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:20,269
Yes, there are dark forces out there
trying to divide us. And yes, they will

64
00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:21,269
succeed.

65
00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:28,510
But until then, I say, let's have a
pint. I will buy everybody a pint.

66
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:37,070
Because I want you to like me.

67
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:40,530
I need you to like me.

68
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,790
LIE FROM THE D-

69
00:06:58,090 --> 00:07:00,450
They're too sweet. Hey, can you believe?

70
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:07,470
This is Saturday night, first of all.
Our night to howl. And me, I'm hosting

71
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:13,030
this gosh darn SNL UK triumphant second
season, first episode.

72
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:14,230
Come on.

73
00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:16,630
I'm a lucky guy.

74
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:25,450
So, for the occasion, may we perform
something that we've just composed now

75
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:27,390
for you, special for tonight?

76
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,720
There's a piano. What's that doing
there? Jesus, Jesus.

77
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:37,280
The band is so good. Can we do a little
bit of that vamp? You know what a jazz

78
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,280
vamp is?

79
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:43,880
That's right.

80
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,160
That's right.

81
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:50,760
I think this would go well with this
Count Basie lick that I know I could add

82
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,600
to this. He's the classiest piano player
of all time. You may recognize it.

83
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,640
Listen to this.

84
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,180
Here we go, listen to this.

85
00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:13,360
Hello mates, let's begin From Hampshire
to Warrington To the earth girls

86
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:19,460
An easy salutation These are big shoes
to fill

87
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:26,400
But I'll keep the big chill With this
band and a grand orchestration

88
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:32,919
Well, I'm hoping to be Your precise cup
of tea

89
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:37,110
And that you'll like me more than Nandos
or Marmite.

90
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:45,090
Like a VIP guest at the Grand Budapest.
I'm hosting

91
00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,510
right here in London tonight.

92
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:55,570
I keep screwing up names like Akwe on
the Thames. I got lost

93
00:08:55,570 --> 00:09:01,430
in Leicester looking for Leicester.
What's the matter with me if my accent

94
00:09:01,430 --> 00:09:07,880
offends? My Shakespearean friends,
sounding like poor Dick Van Dyke, I

95
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,180
tried me best, sir.

96
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:15,520
Help this daft Yankee chap learn the
Wetherspoons app.

97
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:20,740
And why Ant and Dex stand always left to
right. Mix it up, boys.

98
00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:27,860
Even if I still bomb, I will keep calm
and carry on. Because I'm hosting

99
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:31,020
from London tonight. Watch this.

100
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:45,020
Fish and chips, what a feast.

101
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,540
The best chaser is the beast.

102
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:51,800
I'm no idol with the title of
grandmaster.

103
00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:58,300
But I'm stylish, I'm tall, I'm not the
fly on the wall.

104
00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:02,280
Is this song running long? Must go
faster.

105
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:08,960
Your sky is gloomy and gray for this guy
from L.A.

106
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:13,010
So I went to BandQ to buy a light.

107
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:20,770
Despite a few wicked flaws, I am the
Wizard of Oz, and I'm

108
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:23,570
hosting from London tonight.

109
00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:30,010
I'll let this part take amends. We have
spared no expense.

110
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:35,150
Bring a cue card, because I'm really not
that bright. That's CMAT.

111
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,460
You are so excellent. What have you
done? I don't recognize it.

112
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,680
Wait.

113
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,180
I get it now. I can do it. Thank you.

114
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:54,820
Life finds a way.

115
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,780
When you're live on Saturday.

116
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,500
My Sainsbury's local.

117
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,140
We're all feeling vocal.

118
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,560
When I'm hosting right here.

119
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,200
In London tonight.

120
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,580
Thanks to Louise LaBelle and the
Saturday Night Live UK house band, aside

121
00:11:23,580 --> 00:11:25,020
from my nincompoopery.

122
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:28,200
We have a great show for you. You saw a
sea map for yourself.

123
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:31,780
Enjoy it all. And now, watch this. I'll
see you in a second.

124
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:36,619
Hi, love.

125
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:37,920
What do you think about this for the
baby's room?

126
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,280
You know, once we've finally... You're
still unsure?

127
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,400
Having a baby is just such a big
decision.

128
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,740
I don't know if I'll ever be sure.

129
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,120
Come here.

130
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:54,760
But are you sure you'll never be sure?

131
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000
Hello.

132
00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:01,740
I'm Gregor J. DuPont. Actor, raconteur
and professional baby.

133
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,240
Sorry, Dad.

134
00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:04,260
You heard.

135
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:09,140
As a trained thespian with over 30 years
experience in community theatre, I know

136
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:13,920
what it takes to commit to a role. So
let me play the role of my life, your

137
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,380
beautiful man.

138
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:23,100
Over eight weeks, I will help you make
your biggest ever decision by giving you

139
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:27,120
the full baby experience. This includes
playtime.

140
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,900
He doesn't sound like a baby.

141
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:32,780
Sleepy time.

142
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,420
And meal time.

143
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,960
Curse this rotten home!

144
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,360
Don't worry, breastfeeding isn't
mandatory.

145
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,600
But I do know a superb intimacy
coordinator.

146
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:59,920
What we're going to do is make sure that
you're both comfortable, OK? Are you

147
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:00,920
comfortable, Gregor?

148
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:05,360
Extremely. But if I move in with you, I
do have some rules.

149
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:08,560
Number one, I can't be a baby all the
time.

150
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:09,920
Here's a good little boy.

151
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,180
Oh, no.

152
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,710
Union rules, it's after 6pm.

153
00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:18,670
Rule two. I am a working actor.

154
00:13:18,870 --> 00:13:22,010
You will need to help me run lights. Did
you have a bath?

155
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:27,570
Because you had sex with him? So you
wouldn't smell like him? Was he a good

156
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:28,950
f***? Answer me!

157
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:30,430
Yes,

158
00:13:30,670 --> 00:13:31,670
he was good f***.

159
00:13:32,459 --> 00:13:37,440
And occasionally, I may invite my actor
friends round for a night of sea

160
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,380
shanties. This is my time.

161
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,580
Do not disturb me.

162
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,020
Gregor! It is five in the morning.

163
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,360
Right, everybody out.

164
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:53,200
So give me a call today and join the
dozens of couples I have helped make

165
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,200
their decision.

166
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,420
After eight weeks with Gregor, we
decided having children was not for us.

167
00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,040
Thanks to Gregor, we fast-tracked
Michael's vasectomy.

168
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:08,600
I'm Gregor's father, and I can confirm
that after raising the guy, yes, I did

169
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,800
not want any more kids.

170
00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:14,080
And, yeah, I also work as a professional
baby. What's that got to do with

171
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,960
anything? Hey, maybe I should mention
that I have an upcoming one-man show.

172
00:14:18,180 --> 00:14:19,420
Shut up, father.

173
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:25,520
Call me and experience all the dazzling
highs of parenthood. Don't you have a

174
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,459
bath?

175
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:29,300
Because you had sex with him. That's my
baby.

176
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:33,260
Use this time code, BABYMAN, for 30%
off.

177
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,400
T's and C's apply.

178
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,380
Mummy, I really don't want to go to
school tomorrow.

179
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:52,280
None of the other children will play
with me. Oh, darling, you have to go to

180
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,820
school. I'm sure things aren't that bad.

181
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,480
Night-night, Sammy.

182
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:57,960
We love you very much, OK?

183
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:00,640
Love you, Mum.

184
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:01,780
Love you, Dad.

185
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,480
Oh,

186
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,960
I wish I wasn't having such a hard time
at school.

187
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:16,200
Maybe, just maybe, my best friend in the
whole wide world could help me.

188
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,200
I'll clap my hands and be of cheer.

189
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,420
D'Artagnan Gumboot, please appear.

190
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,160
Sammy.

191
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,500
How you doing, my friend? D'Artagnan
Gumboot, my invisible friend.

192
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,620
That's me all over. I'm always at your
service. How's my favourite little guy?

193
00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:39,140
Not great, D'Artagnan. What's going on?

194
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,440
No-one at school wants to play with me.

195
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:44,600
No. Well, I tell you what, we can fix
that.

196
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,920
Wait until they see you in your spiffy
new outfit.

197
00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:52,140
Whoa!

198
00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:54,460
It's so cool.

199
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,500
Yeah, cowboy. Everyone at school is
going to think I'm the coolest.

200
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,680
That's right. That's what invisible
friends are for, my friend. Hey, fill

201
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,720
your hand with yours. Let's have a
shootout.

202
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:12,060
You're a cool cowboy. Sam, maybe, do you
remember to... Sorry, who the fuck is

203
00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:13,060
that?

204
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:21,430
You can see him. The adult man in your
room. Yes, I can see him.

205
00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:26,430
That's D'Artagnan Gumboot, my invisible
friend. Well, he looks pretty fucking

206
00:16:26,430 --> 00:16:27,430
visible to me.

207
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,170
Golly, I've never been visible before.
How curious.

208
00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,270
Is everything OK up here?

209
00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:34,850
D'Artagnan.

210
00:16:36,710 --> 00:16:38,030
Sorry, you know this man?

211
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:42,170
Yes, he used to be my invisible friend
when I was a child.

212
00:16:42,470 --> 00:16:46,990
My, oh, my, Carolyn, what a radiant
woman you've grown into.

213
00:16:48,879 --> 00:16:51,380
Why, Carolyn, did you ever stop
believing in me?

214
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,620
Oh, you know how it is. You grow up,
life takes over.

215
00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:59,220
But I still think so fondly of those
days. As are you.

216
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:00,740
Group hug?

217
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,960
Come here.

218
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:03,560
Come here.

219
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:04,679
Oh, yes.

220
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:07,220
Yes. Right, well, obviously, I feel
weird about that.

221
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,540
You know, I'd feel less weird if I
couldn't actually, like, see you.

222
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:18,000
Well, if it helps, instead of an
invisible friend... you know i could be

223
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:24,839
here watch this i could be let's call me
an inconspicuous friend uh you know

224
00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:29,860
uh would that be better are you happy to
leave us to it now no no it's it's it's

225
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:33,940
actually a lot worse um this whole thing
is actually insane okay

226
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:39,030
Hello, D'Artagnan.

227
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:40,310
Sylvester here.

228
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,710
Invisible maintenance man.

229
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:44,710
So you've noticed the invisibility
network is down.

230
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:46,370
Parents are going mental.

231
00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:49,550
It's a bloodbath out there.

232
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:53,410
Thanks so much, Sylvester, for the
update. Appreciate it. Oh, don't worry.

233
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,610
Our engineers are on the case.

234
00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:56,470
Keep it see-through, brother.

235
00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:06,070
Sorry, did he say the whole network's
down? So all invisible friends are now

236
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:07,070
visible?

237
00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:17,640
fantasy football team I'm too tired from
doing this

238
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:23,980
I'm his

239
00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:30,560
invisible friend hasn't he told you
about oh gee buddy bet you're right

240
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:37,040
around now you wish you were invisible
good news everyone I found the loose

241
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:42,120
cables for the trance Lucifer ah we back
to being invisible in three two

242
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,280
Ah, nice.

243
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,580
Everything's back to normal. All the
invisibles are gone.

244
00:18:58,860 --> 00:18:59,860
Isn't that right, family?

245
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,460
Family?

246
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,440
Pizza for one, Mr Grimsby.

247
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,550
Just like you order every night.

248
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:17,730
Hope you're not too lonely tonight, Mr
Grimsby.

249
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,260
Thanks for helping me, Uncle Jeff.

250
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,140
Never know what to say on dates.

251
00:19:58,380 --> 00:19:59,580
Oh, no, no, no, Todd.

252
00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:03,240
That's not going to be a problem
tonight. You see, here's what you've got

253
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:08,520
to do. Take this earpiece and everything
I say, you've got to repeat it, OK? Just

254
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,840
for tonight, trust your smooth Uncle
Jeff, OK?

255
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:16,300
I'm worried that won't sound right
coming from me. You do have a very

256
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,500
specific way of speaking.

257
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:24,860
I'm confounded that you'd excoriate me
with such an utterance, my beamish boy.

258
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,020
Not true.

259
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:31,820
But listen, the truth is that we're all
a little worried about you.

260
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:35,920
Of late, you got a profoundly incel
energy.

261
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,760
We're afraid if you don't meet a nice
girl, I think that you're about five sad

262
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,720
wanks away from a trip to the gun store.

263
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:46,940
Oh, wait a minute.

264
00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:50,060
Okay, just good luck, kiddo. Good luck.

265
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:54,500
Oh, hey, there you are. Uh, Todd, right?

266
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:58,360
Yeah, oh, hi there, sweetheart.

267
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,620
Look at you. My, oh, my.

268
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,000
Aren't we looking delectable tonight?

269
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,400
Oh, hi there, sweetheart.

270
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,680
Look at you.

271
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:09,360
My, oh, my. Aren't we looking delectable
tonight?

272
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,940
Oh, thank you. You're looking lovely
yourself.

273
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:17,100
Hey, let me get that chair for you. Hey,
let me get that chair for you.

274
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:24,690
And now you need to move the chair.

275
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,710
Now you move the chair.

276
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,030
OK.

277
00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:32,970
So, um, have you been waiting a long
time?

278
00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:34,750
Well, that depends.

279
00:21:34,990 --> 00:21:37,970
Would you say that my entire life is a
long time?

280
00:21:38,230 --> 00:21:40,430
Would you say my entire life is a long
time?

281
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:42,910
Aw, Todd, that's so sweet.

282
00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:44,710
Shall we get a drink?

283
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:49,730
OK, now just answer the question. Just
answer the question. Oh, yeah, about the

284
00:21:49,730 --> 00:21:52,070
entire life thing. Sorry, I thought that
was a joke.

285
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:54,079
You idiot!

286
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,080
You idiot!

287
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:57,760
You're so funny!

288
00:21:58,460 --> 00:22:01,980
You know, I've had loads of bad dates
recently where the men just, like, don't

289
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:04,880
let me speak and I feel like I'm talking
and they just, like... Hey, stop!

290
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:08,140
Stop! Stop! Hey, stop! Stop! Hey, stop!

291
00:22:08,540 --> 00:22:09,760
100%. Sorry.

292
00:22:10,220 --> 00:22:12,740
Shut up. Tell me about you.

293
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:20,200
Um... You'll never guess whose phone
I've just stolen.

294
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,480
What?

295
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,320
You've stolen someone's phone.

296
00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:26,440
Jeff Flippin' Goblin, mate, just ran
past and grabbed it.

297
00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:28,320
That's so hot.

298
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,740
Come on, let's go into an alleyway so no
one will see us. Whoa, um, let's slow

299
00:22:32,740 --> 00:22:34,840
down, maybe get a drink first.

300
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:38,000
OK, well, if we just stay here, the
police won't find us.

301
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:46,520
Oh, no, here they come. Drop the phone,
leg it.

302
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,600
Here's the phone.

303
00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:51,170
You get after them, Sergeant. I'll take
this back to the owner.

304
00:22:51,910 --> 00:22:55,270
Oh, speak of the devil. Hello, Mr
Goldblum. I believe this belongs to you.

305
00:22:56,050 --> 00:22:58,950
Oh, thanks so much, boys. I agree with
everything you guys do.

306
00:23:00,430 --> 00:23:04,990
Now, if you'll help me, I have to get
back to my stupid English nephew with

307
00:23:04,990 --> 00:23:07,010
his date. Todd? Todd, are you still
there?

308
00:23:07,230 --> 00:23:08,230
Hang on.

309
00:23:08,490 --> 00:23:12,410
Are you being fed lines through an
earpiece? Hold tight, Todd. I'm coming

310
00:23:12,410 --> 00:23:13,850
to rescue you. I knew it.

311
00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:15,009
I'm leaving.

312
00:23:15,010 --> 00:23:17,310
OK. Oh, young lady. Oh, my God!

313
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,640
That's not the movie they usually
recognize me for.

314
00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:36,280
But, young lady, we must confess, yes,
we have deceived you, but only

315
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,200
in the name of love.

316
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:43,020
Well, it's actually kind of flattering
that you would go to all that trouble,

317
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:44,140
Todd.

318
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,400
Do you want to do this again sometime?

319
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:47,660
No.

320
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,280
Well, there you have it, folks. It all
worked out in the end.

321
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:53,300
I don't know.

322
00:24:01,659 --> 00:24:05,400
Every day, thousands of people pass
through Euston Station.

323
00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:10,060
So we've put a piano at the heart of
this cathedral of human connection,

324
00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:15,400
giving ordinary people a chance to share
their music and their stories. As ever,

325
00:24:15,540 --> 00:24:20,360
they'll be watched by one of the world's
finest pianists and Mika, for some

326
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,360
reason.

327
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,080
This is...

328
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,060
So, Martin, why are you here?

329
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:39,460
Two years ago, roughly. My family was
crushed to death by a grand piano on

330
00:24:39,460 --> 00:24:40,460
a cruise.

331
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,540
And I thought I'd never be able to play
the piano again.

332
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,840
Oh, we're going to win an NCAA.

333
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:49,700
What a wonderful story, and very good
for our ratings.

334
00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:51,780
Good, good. Take it away. Good luck.

335
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:54,910
Mmm.

336
00:24:55,670 --> 00:24:57,710
God bless the National Health Service.

337
00:25:07,790 --> 00:25:13,050
The 1654 to Southampton will now depart
from platform 14.

338
00:25:13,290 --> 00:25:17,290
For Christ's sake, Dominic, we've got to
be late. The 1743 to Glasgow has been

339
00:25:17,290 --> 00:25:18,770
cancelled. For Christ's sake!

340
00:25:51,870 --> 00:25:56,210
That woman's vomiting because Martin's
music is just so powerful

341
00:25:57,980 --> 00:25:59,580
I think she shot herself, too.

342
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,400
Yes.

343
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,720
No, no. That is decent.

344
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,040
Sorry, if we just... One second. Yeah,
boy!

345
00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:35,009
This is Houston.

346
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,630
You just have to try and block it out.

347
00:26:38,770 --> 00:26:40,010
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

348
00:26:40,910 --> 00:26:42,250
Okay, clear the area!

349
00:26:42,690 --> 00:26:43,710
Go, go, go!

350
00:26:44,190 --> 00:26:45,390
Is that the bomb squad?

351
00:26:45,910 --> 00:26:50,790
And he's oblivious. I mean, how
brilliant. That is the power of music.

352
00:27:56,010 --> 00:27:59,370
Well, you know, we don't know. We're
doing the class, so we're not across the

353
00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:01,030
booking situation.

354
00:28:01,270 --> 00:28:01,829
I don't know.

355
00:28:01,830 --> 00:28:03,170
Any injuries?

356
00:28:03,710 --> 00:28:05,970
I got a neck thing. No, okay.

357
00:28:07,190 --> 00:28:11,870
So I'm going to demonstrate, then we do
all together.

358
00:28:12,170 --> 00:28:14,570
So we're going to interlace the hands.

359
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,360
How far through your menstrual cycle are
you?

360
00:28:49,420 --> 00:28:53,380
I'm sorry, I don't think he's allowed to
ask that. It's part of it. It's part of

361
00:28:53,380 --> 00:28:54,380
it. Okay.

362
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:57,640
Hello.

363
00:28:58,420 --> 00:28:59,480
Don't look at me.

364
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,420
We want to go down a little.

365
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,420
So we want to...

366
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:21,560
My hands are wet.

367
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,440
Who is that guy there? Is he
credentialed? And look at that, he's

368
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:29,440
wearing shoes.

369
00:29:30,660 --> 00:29:31,660
It's okay.

370
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,680
Really? Yeah, I met him on a boat.

371
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:47,000
And now what

372
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,000
are we supposed to do?

373
00:29:58,580 --> 00:30:05,000
You said it was part of it to warm down
We are going to help move

374
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:11,700
a family of three into a four bedroom
cash in hand

375
00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:17,260
so okay This has been a waste of my
time. I'm so sorry, but I think we got

376
00:30:17,260 --> 00:30:18,260
it. That's enough for me

377
00:30:18,729 --> 00:30:19,669
Let's go.

378
00:30:19,670 --> 00:30:23,150
Wait! What the hell was that?

379
00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:24,990
Hey.

380
00:30:25,650 --> 00:30:29,770
Hey, my neck. I've been trying to
release that for years.

381
00:30:31,090 --> 00:30:34,410
Was this whole thing... Part of it.

382
00:30:36,750 --> 00:30:38,250
Don't be quiet.

383
00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:41,430
I just understood.

384
00:30:41,770 --> 00:30:42,770
Very good.

385
00:30:43,650 --> 00:30:44,650
Very good.

386
00:30:44,990 --> 00:30:46,110
I don't know.

387
00:30:47,350 --> 00:30:48,350
Oh, God.

388
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,860
Ladies and gentlemen, see Matt.

389
00:31:16,940 --> 00:31:20,020
Told you that my band started popping
off.

390
00:31:20,340 --> 00:31:22,940
You told me that you played guitar.

391
00:31:24,220 --> 00:31:28,460
I knew that you would die at the time I
said it.

392
00:31:28,740 --> 00:31:31,380
But you could play my heart.

393
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,400
It took a couple weeks, you should have.

394
00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:39,140
Playing like a rock and roll star.

395
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,860
Holy God, damn, you were so annoying.

396
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,880
But you had my heart.

397
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:14,660
Welcome to Weekend Update.

398
00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:16,680
I'm Paddy Young. And I'm Anya Magliano.

399
00:35:20,180 --> 00:35:24,240
Slip off your ankle tags and charge your
vapes, it's time to shout at a dinghy.

400
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:30,720
That's right, anti-migrant protests took
place this week in Dover and Portsmouth,

401
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:36,020
led by far-right activist Danny Tomo,
seen here trying to upskirt a man's

402
00:35:36,020 --> 00:35:37,020
face.

403
00:35:38,860 --> 00:35:45,080
On Saturday, members of Tomo's group
Patriot Platform yelled obscenities,

404
00:35:45,140 --> 00:35:49,340
threw stones, spat, then said goodbye to
their families and headed to the

405
00:35:49,340 --> 00:35:50,340
protests.

406
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:57,240
Now, it's worth remembering that some of
these anti-migrant protesters do have

407
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:58,700
legitimate concerns.

408
00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:04,220
Concerns like, what's the best brand of
frozen peas to put on your wife's eye?

409
00:36:13,290 --> 00:36:14,290
It's bird's eye.

410
00:36:16,070 --> 00:36:22,790
The protesters, seen here mistaking a
lady for a lifeboat, marched up and down

411
00:36:22,790 --> 00:36:27,950
the town chanting, England till I die,
alone in a service station of

412
00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:31,070
electrocution after urinating on a deal
or no deal fruit machine.

413
00:36:32,470 --> 00:36:37,070
The happy clatter of coins singing him
into oblivion as the piss in his

414
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:41,650
knickers is joined by shit and he loses
control of his bowels one final time.

415
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,980
Sleep now, sleep, sweet Patriot.

416
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,280
Sleep.

417
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,780
So, who is this Danny Tomo?

418
00:36:54,140 --> 00:36:59,000
Before launching Patriot Platform, he's
reported to have tried his luck as both

419
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,820
a bricklayer and a web designer.

420
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:05,420
However, neither worked out, as
tragically, he has the physique of a web

421
00:37:05,420 --> 00:37:07,280
designer and the mind of a brick.

422
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:19,280
This week, President Trump stepped off
Air Force One sporting a different hair

423
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,280
colour.

424
00:37:20,380 --> 00:37:23,720
Yeah, he appears to be trialling a new
shade of brown.

425
00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:26,100
Or he's shat his head.

426
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,180
People are questioning, does the carpet
still match the drapes?

427
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:39,820
I wouldn't know. That's between the
President and a punchline that just

428
00:37:39,820 --> 00:37:42,320
seconds ago was taken from me by our
legal team.

429
00:37:44,780 --> 00:37:46,980
Thank you, legal team. It was almost
funny.

430
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:55,480
Yesterday, Bitcoin tycoon Ben Delo
donated £36 million to Reform UK.

431
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,920
Delo is a maths whiz and crypto
billionaire, seen here trying to work

432
00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:01,640
out the half-your-age plus seven rule.

433
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:11,280
And? And just hours ago, it was revealed
that Ben Delo's £36 million donation was

434
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:15,300
matched... by Thai-based crypto
billionaire Christopher Harbon, seen

435
00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:18,260
here trying to work out the half your
age minus seven rule.

436
00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:27,280
I mean, you've got to feel sorry for
Nigel Farage. You wait your entire life

437
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:32,640
for one crypto tycoon to give you £36
million and then two come in your mouth

438
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:33,640
at once.

439
00:38:40,010 --> 00:38:43,930
The Bayeux Tapestry has arrived in
London and is on display at the British

440
00:38:43,930 --> 00:38:44,930
Museum.

441
00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:49,070
Pensioner Ian Williams has spent every
morning for the last 40 years

442
00:38:49,070 --> 00:38:51,990
meticulously hand-stitching his own
Bayeux Tapestry.

443
00:38:52,390 --> 00:38:56,630
Upon being shown the real thing, he
said, Oh, nuts! Someone's already done

444
00:38:56,630 --> 00:38:57,630
one!

445
00:38:57,890 --> 00:39:01,930
Right, I'm moving to Salisbury and I'm
going to dedicate the rest of my life to

446
00:39:01,930 --> 00:39:04,310
making a henge... of stone!

447
00:39:08,460 --> 00:39:12,400
On Tuesday, Prince George had his first
day at Eton College.

448
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,760
But how will he survive being stuck in a
place famous for producing sexual

449
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,000
abusers? By leaving it and going to Eton
College.

450
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:30,240
This week, the government introduced
sanctions against illegal Israeli

451
00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:31,620
settlements in the West Bank.

452
00:39:32,010 --> 00:39:35,730
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was
apparently taken aback at the sanctions

453
00:39:35,730 --> 00:39:39,350
from Burnham, as he thought Burnham was
just something you did to refugee camps.

454
00:39:44,110 --> 00:39:49,870
Good news for investors of Airtasker, as
the odd jobs platform reports record

455
00:39:49,870 --> 00:39:54,270
profits. It's never been easier to order
a plumber, handyman or cleaning service

456
00:39:54,270 --> 00:39:56,830
straight to your door. Here to comment
is a cleaner!

457
00:40:02,830 --> 00:40:04,130
I'm not actually that good at cleaning.

458
00:40:06,490 --> 00:40:09,670
You look like a cleaner. No, no, I'm a
maid.

459
00:40:10,010 --> 00:40:11,710
So you are a cleaner?

460
00:40:11,950 --> 00:40:13,510
No, you bellend.

461
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:15,630
I'm a maid.

462
00:40:17,190 --> 00:40:18,190
Where are you from?

463
00:40:18,430 --> 00:40:21,910
France, yeah. I'm obviously from France.
I'm a maid from France.

464
00:40:25,350 --> 00:40:30,730
OK, so you're a maid from France, but
you do clean houses, right? No!

465
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,520
I'm literally not even that good at
cleaning.

466
00:40:35,620 --> 00:40:40,480
OK, OK, for example, yeah, if you give
me an Uber, yeah, the Uber, like, I

467
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,280
struggle to get in the nooks and
crannies.

468
00:40:43,180 --> 00:40:46,100
You know? And then the cleaning
products, like, I'm like, what?

469
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,060
Thief, Jeef, toilet duck, Barry Scott,
silly bang, silly quoi?

470
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:57,700
You're literally holding a duster. Yeah,
but I don't really use it for dusting.

471
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:01,120
What do you use it for?

472
00:41:08,050 --> 00:41:13,330
It's more like I like shaking it around
Okay, how do I explain it's like maybe

473
00:41:13,330 --> 00:41:18,250
this maybe somebody has been a little
bit naughty Yeah, so I just in their

474
00:41:18,250 --> 00:41:23,010
face a little bit or maybe I'm gonna
dust it on their bum Are you cleaning

475
00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:26,450
someone on their bum are you playing
silly burgers now?

476
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,680
Shall I show you what I do with it?
Shall I show him?

477
00:41:33,620 --> 00:41:40,300
Okay, it's a be like this And

478
00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:46,840
maybe like maybe I go like this

479
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,840
now show me your bum you naughty boy cuz
I'm gonna dust it

480
00:42:01,740 --> 00:42:07,580
In European news, a local election was
won with a landslide victory by the far

481
00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:10,720
-right political party Alternative for
Germany.

482
00:42:11,100 --> 00:42:13,700
Doesn't really sound like an alternative
for Germany.

483
00:42:14,580 --> 00:42:16,540
An old classic for Germany.

484
00:42:21,580 --> 00:42:25,520
Alice Feidel, co-leader of the far-right
party, is approaching things with a new

485
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,700
angle, mainly a bend in the elbow.

486
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,520
On Suicide Prevention Day on Thursday,
Prince William teamed up with Harry Kane

487
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:41,680
to have an open conversation about
mental health.

488
00:42:41,940 --> 00:42:45,640
And to anyone who had to listen to that
conversation, the number for the

489
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,980
Samaritans is on screen now.

490
00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:57,440
In TV news, Monty Don has stepped down
as the host of the BBC's Gardener's

491
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,600
World after 20 years.

492
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,220
He's not said how he's going to spend
his retirement, but...

493
00:43:03,870 --> 00:43:06,450
Do you want to go out on a limb here and
say, gardening?

494
00:43:08,650 --> 00:43:14,810
The East Lancashire Railway has hired
their first female steam locomotive

495
00:43:14,810 --> 00:43:18,650
driver, who has described it as a dream
come true.

496
00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:23,010
To all those naysayers out there, see,
women can have autism.

497
00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:34,940
This week was the state funeral of
Norway's King Harald V, who was placed

498
00:43:34,940 --> 00:43:38,980
in a wooden boat, set on fire, and then
pushed out to the open sea.

499
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:41,280
Well, no wonder he died.

500
00:44:42,060 --> 00:44:43,060
is unstoppable.

501
00:44:43,260 --> 00:44:45,600
We just need the planes to get a clear
shot.

502
00:44:45,900 --> 00:44:48,520
Won't that make him angrier? What if he
comes for us next?

503
00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:50,600
I wouldn't be so sure.

504
00:44:53,940 --> 00:44:55,340
And who the heck are you?

505
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,140
I'm a filmmaker, you see.

506
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:03,220
I've been studying this King Kong for
six months, and this King Kong ain't

507
00:45:03,220 --> 00:45:05,680
angry. He's just in love.

508
00:45:08,940 --> 00:45:11,740
So the reason he's up there is because
he's in love with that broad.

509
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,420
I have a name!

510
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:15,400
That's right.

511
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:21,220
All he wants is that lady. So if we just
leave him be, us fellas are safe.

512
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,460
I wouldn't be so sure.

513
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:34,500
And who the heck are you? I'm Duke
Fosse. I'm an expert in animal behavior.

514
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,260
And I've been studying this King Kong
for 16 months.

515
00:45:38,670 --> 00:45:44,050
And I hate to tell you, fellas, but this
King Kong is bi.

516
00:45:52,630 --> 00:45:53,630
Bi?

517
00:45:54,010 --> 00:45:56,290
Like what I do to my groceries at the
supermarket?

518
00:45:57,710 --> 00:46:00,950
Bi? Like what you say to your mother at
the end of a telephone call?

519
00:46:01,770 --> 00:46:03,330
No, I mean bi.

520
00:46:04,870 --> 00:46:05,870
Bisexual.

521
00:46:08,910 --> 00:46:10,350
But those don't exist.

522
00:46:10,830 --> 00:46:13,010
Oh, I assure you they do.

523
00:46:13,310 --> 00:46:19,650
Love is love, gentlemen. So we better
take extra care that this King Kong

524
00:46:19,650 --> 00:46:21,770
doesn't fall for one of us.

525
00:46:22,710 --> 00:46:25,630
How do you know this particular King
Kong is bi?

526
00:46:26,090 --> 00:46:30,270
Well, you spend enough time with one,
they'll let you know.

527
00:46:31,850 --> 00:46:36,550
Don't listen to this kook. King Kong's
like ladies, and that's that.

528
00:46:36,930 --> 00:46:38,550
I'd be happy to swap.

529
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:43,500
Hey,

530
00:46:43,740 --> 00:46:49,240
what did I tell you? No, no, no. It
looks like he's taken a liking to one of

531
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:52,180
us. Gentlemen, hold on to your hats.

532
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:56,560
Or maybe he's just spotted that broad
right there with a hoop and stick.

533
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:02,380
See? He scooped the thing right up. He's
straight as an arrow.

534
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,200
Wait, wait. No, no, no. Keep looking.
Keep looking.

535
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:07,800
Look at what he's doing.

536
00:47:08,460 --> 00:47:11,980
He's taking the hoop out of her hand and
he's throwing the lady away.

537
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:17,280
He just wants the hoop. He's making a...
Is that a... Yes.

538
00:47:17,540 --> 00:47:22,900
A septum... It's a septum piercing. I
told you, I told you. My

539
00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:29,640
God, this Kong is as biased as they
come.

540
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,960
I should have never had doubted you.

541
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:34,980
Everybody save yourselves.

542
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,860
Jiminy Cricket looks like the Kong's got
the hots for Carl.

543
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:47,880
I mean, if I'm being honest, I'm
surprised

544
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:49,280
by the choice, but hey, good for him.

545
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:59,080
And boy, both good.

546
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:05,740
Bisexuality in the wild, it's
magnificent.

547
00:48:07,710 --> 00:48:10,190
It's like rooting for the Yankees and
the Mets.

548
00:48:11,870 --> 00:48:13,650
Call off the planes, Chief.

549
00:48:15,990 --> 00:48:19,230
To shoot this beautiful bi beast would
be a hate crime.

550
00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:23,450
Ooh, wait a minute. You know what? I'll
tell you.

551
00:48:23,930 --> 00:48:27,750
He's going to have a hard time holding
on to that building if he's got both of

552
00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:28,750
them up there.

553
00:48:30,590 --> 00:48:31,770
No. No.

554
00:48:35,210 --> 00:48:38,630
T'was bisexuality killed the beast.

555
00:48:41,750 --> 00:48:43,690
Bye, King Kong.

556
00:48:43,950 --> 00:48:45,910
Coming summer 1933.

557
00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:48,370
Coming for everyone.

558
00:48:51,490 --> 00:48:56,110
Oh, once again, CMAT, CMAT.

559
00:49:57,740 --> 00:50:02,640
I went away to come back like a radical
Christian.

560
00:50:06,060 --> 00:50:08,840
I lost it away again.

561
00:54:37,980 --> 00:54:42,720
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, the
lot of you! Listen, there's no time to

562
00:54:42,720 --> 00:54:44,700
explain, but I'm absolutely shitting
myself.

563
00:54:45,380 --> 00:54:49,140
Seamap's coming round for a fry-up, and
I ain't got no black pudding in.

564
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:53,360
She expects a full fry every week, and
if I haven't got no black pudding in,

565
00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:58,560
she goes absolutely berserk. Oh, Jesus,
that's her now. Just everybody be calm.

566
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:00,080
All right, Seam.

567
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:06,960
Well, I'm really sorry but...

568
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,900
thanks to c matt and a huge thank you to
the cast writers and everybody working

569
00:56:22,900 --> 00:56:28,020
on the show for making this such a great
week it's been such an honor to host snl

570
00:56:28,020 --> 00:56:30,580
uk good night good night